personal

why I am an introvert

I’ve spent a lot of time with friends this week, and I’ve been busy running errands, dog sitting, going to meetings, just constantly moving this week. On the one hand, I like that. It keeps me busy and I feel like I’m accomplishing something. On the other hand, it’s not so good because I need to sit still and read, and write something for this dissertation so I can graduate on time and be done with this phase of my life.

Also on the other hand, it’s not so good because I love seeing my friends. I love being busy. But after a while of seeing my friends and being busy, I sort of break.

I went to this event in my city’s downtown tonight, where there are lots of food trucks and live music, and I saw a bunch of people I know and we talked and laughed and had fun. And then it was time to go home. As I walked to my car and started driving, I wanted to cry. I felt so lonely. I never feel such acute loneliness as in the hour or two after a pleasurable social event. I feel drained, depressed, and emptied every time I have a good time with a group of people.

So, as much as I love my friends and I love meeting new people and I really do like social interaction, after an exceptionally busy week I need to be the introvert that I am and just close out the world so I can recharge. When I have an excellent day just on my own, I don’t feel drained. I feel rejuvenated. So, this is why I am and always will be an introvert.

Ethnicity Studies · graduate school

I’m reading Scott Richard Lyons’ book X-Marks: Native Signatures of Assent this week. That, along with his articles,  “Actually Existing Indians Nations: Modernity, Diversity, and the Future of Native American Studies.”  [American Indian Quarterly 35.3 (2011): 294-312] and “Rhetorical Sovereignty: What do American Indians Want from Writing?” [CCC 51.3 (2000): 447-468] have broadened the way I think about Native… Continue reading