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Academic Writing Month, Day 9: Exhaustion

I got my word count in today, and a little extra– 900 words. I’ve written a lot, I feel, in the past 9 days. But I get mixed feelings as soon as I share my results. I get varying reactions, from praise to “that’s a good start” and then I start to second guess myself. Am I really accomplishing anything that great? And why haven’t I been doing this much all along?

Because writing every day is hard.

It doesn’t matter how much or how little, it’s just hard. It’s hard to sit down and produce, every single day. It’s hard to carve out the time, in between teaching, grading, working my shifts at the writing center, and just interacting with my peers, colleagues, friends, as I walk from classroom to office to library to home. Applying for jobs, and trying to keep somewhat current on the state of the world. And then there’s cleaning my apartment, doing my laundry, going to the grocery store, trying to practice yoga and cook my meals, and play with my cats.

Writing every day is hard.

I have to remember that, or I’ll get discouraged.

It might seem counter intuitive. Maybe I should be telling myself how easy it is. But I won’t even believe that lie from myself. Acknowledging the difficulty of it is honest, and it keeps me from getting frustrated with myself for the struggle to write every day.

Sometimes the writing is easy. Sometimes it’s not.

9 days down. 21 to go.

And December will be AcWriMo, take two.

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