Author: inkinherveins

• writing is hard

  That’s it. That’s the post. Well, it’s not, but it could be, because that’s what it all comes down to. Writing is hard. Writing about trauma is hard. Writing about trauma when you have to go about your daily life as if everything is fine is hard. Writing about trauma when current events in your…

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• and I’m still here…

  

  Sometimes, I’m gripped by this feeling that people will forget me if I don’t remind them I’m here. That my presence is so insignificant that the moment I’m gone, it’s as if I never was. Sometimes, I’m gripped by this feeling that people wish they could forget me, that my presence is annoying, like a…

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• Contrary

  All throughout the day,noise and chatter surround me I long for quiet. At night, in my silent home,Loneliness oppresses me.

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• My body, his choice

  Content note for mention of sexual assault In 2004, when I was 20, I spent a month in Wales for a summer study program. Not long after I got back, my boyfriend of a few months proposed. We met in February, he was deployed in May, I left for Wales in June, and returned in…

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• make this place beautiful…

  I haven’t had anything useful to say the past few days. I haven’t been able to engage in the rage posting, in the shock and disbelief, in the terror and grief. I feel all these things, aside from shock and disbelief. For me, nothing unexpected happened in the presidential election, though I did try to…

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• “How are you doing?”

  I don’t know how to answer this question. I don’t like this question. Especially when it comes to me at parties or at work or in really public, busy places, or from people I haven’t seen in a while, or from people I don’t know particularly well, or from people I don’t necessarily trust with…

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• spin me right round

  

  A couple of weeks ago, I fired a client. I needed the pay (if you want to/ are able to help with this, check out my GoFundMe) so that part was a bit stressful. Yet, it was work that took up much more of my mental energy than it did my time, and it stopped…

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• Writing/Not Writing

  Last month, I attended Rural Philanthropy Days, a conference hosted by Community Resource Center (CRC). CRC works to connect grant makers (organizations and people with money) to grant seekers (mostly organizations who need money). I was presenting at this conference, a workshop I submitted called “Mapping Your Story,” and I was also on a panel…

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• Smile

  I bite my tongue bloodykeeping it all to myselfnot saying what I want to say…Continually shushed and silencedbecause I say too much… So much I want to saybut I just bite my tongue bloodymy mouth filling with rust and copper I keep myself from forming the wordsChew my lips raw and splitmuffling sound. My unruly…

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• Community and Energy

  Community is one of the most overlooked needs we have in our hyper-individualized society. It’s also incredibly difficult to build and to navigate community, especially as an introvert, who also happens to be neurodivergent (neuro-spicy, neuro-sparkly, neuro-kinky, whatever label you like), who also happens to throw herself fully into people and things, who also happens…

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